It’s the end of the year, and time once again for self-reflection and new year’s resolutions. 2017 has been a bit of a whirlwind year, with more stability in the later months. One year ago, I was in a small village at the end of the Carretera Austral, the main road of Chilean Patagonia, called Villa O’Higgins. A similarly cloudy, gloomy and rainy day (though a lot colder than Singapore), ending with a wonderful shared dinner with those in the hostel, spectacular fireworks (for where we were), a live band and dancing. The immediate objective was just to get over the lake to finish our hike in El Chalten National Park, Argentina, but beyond that, blank pages to be filled. Now I’m back with my family in Singapore and a job with monthly salary.
The year’s been filled with self-searching and reflection, a slow move away from distractions and towards a life I’m at peace with. It culminated in the removal of my Facebook account – though right before deactivating it, I was still looking through my newsfeed, of people asking Facebook friends to comment on their status how they met or their best memories of each other. I was looking through photos I was tagged in, starting from the most recent and moving back in time (I only got to 2012 before I ran out of time – it’s the end of the year now). Photos of my time in the UK as a student, moments of fun, photos of overseas trips, field trips, captured with people I happened to be hanging around. Some I knew a bit, spoke to a bit, maybe even some I was fairly close with at that time. Some I never really knew, just a name, or not even that. Some people I meet on holidays, have a good chat with but nothing more. Some I met at climbing gyms, or hostels. But also always photos of some friends whom I’ll keep for life.
I’m moving off Facebook because it’s a time sinker for me. When I get bored or restless and just want a stream of information until something appears to catch my brain, I scroll through my news feed, though I care little for most posts. I’ve come to realise that friends I know I’ll keep, I’ll make an effort to keep in touch without needing a Facebook reminder, and most people don’t update on Facebook anymore anyway. It’s probably the people I met briefly and shared a few moments with that I’ll miss the most; yet in a world before Facebook, they would also just have remained happy memories, without a means of contacting.
I’ve used Facebook as an information dispenser, posting about environmental or social issues and having discussions. But I’ve come to the stage where I’m reluctant to engage in loaded discussions on social media, and it feels like the few people who might read the barrage of articles I post (on Twitter but routed to Facebook) would probably read about the issues on other platforms anyway. I used to use Facebook as an information gatherer, but not any more – I’ve started perusing news sites.
Still, going through the photos and having flashbacks of my past, I realise how much I’ve changed, even in, or perhaps particularly in the 5 years. Priorities have changed, my understanding of the world has been broadened, and I realised I want to live for myself, a life that I am content with and feel no need for escape. A quieter, slower way of living more thoughtfully and carefully, in line with nature and ecology, without exacerbating the social and economic inequalities that pervade. More blank pages to be filled, but it starts with going off Facebook, and with that, a goodbye to the people with whom I’ve shared fleeting precious moments of joy. I’ll still be thinking of you and wishing you well, even if I don’t post on your wall.